Justice In A Time Of Madness
The whole astronaut crazy spurned woman thing, and the rest of it doesn't really concern me at all.
[See "Astronaut Released from Jail" -- sort of the ultimate tabloid headline, ain't it?]
No: I am enraged that Lisa Marie Nowak has now doomed me to over a year of serial abuse by the talking (and yet empty) heads that dominate the fake news channels with -- as if you weren't already way ahead of me -- fake news. You know, that kind of insane and inane trivial bullshit that feeds the media monster, like, hey, Britney Spears wasn't wearing UNDERWEAR!
(And never a mention of what kind of sick photogs are waiting by the door of the car to voyeuristically and opportunistically shove their telephoto lenses metaphorically up Britney's celebrated vulva.)
For the next year (at least) we will be in the thrall of that industry spawned by the O.J. Simpson trial. Some of you youngsters might remember Bill O'Reilly's farewell from the Inside Edition set across from the courthouse while COVERING the O.J. trial in 1995, thus providing employment to his replacement, Deborah Norville, to this very day. Which, serendipitously brings us back around to the phony moralizing, the prudish masturbation that characterizes this sort of coverage.
For the next year, we'll be hearing BREAKING news from Ms. Norville, et al, with phone-sex Bill ejaculating pompous moralizing at various points during his Faux Nooz show, and/or his radio show.
And don't doubt for a minute that Lary King won't convene as many panels as necessary to gush and swoon over the tittilating astronaut games. After all, he took this crap to a finely honed edge with his Lacy Peterson Trial coverage, and his Chandra Levy coverage, and of course, his O.J. coverage.
Another stalwart swimming in the cess pool will be Greta Van Susteren, who got her start on CNN covering the OJ trial. And then there's Nancy Grace, another beneficiary of the tabloid celebrity scandal television industry.
People watch this shit. People eat this shit up with a collective spoon. People actually think that this shit is important. Forget about Habeas Corpus, what about that astronaut chick?
Tell us something moral, Bill.
Tell us something uplifting, Deborah.
Show us something valuable, Nancy and Greta and Lary, et al.
The bottom feeders like Jay Leno have already started. (This guy still makes Clinton blowjob jokes. Haw Haw. Most of us got over it before high school, but Jay seems permanently mired in junior high school bathroom grafitti. There is a special 'dumbass' section of hell reserved for Leno and his ilk, rest assured.)
I guess it isn't coincident that I got this week's NEWSWEEK in the mailbox today. The cover story: Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. The headline: The GIRLS GONE WILD Effect.
Oh. My. Ghod.
The USA may well be the first civilization to collapse from the sheer weight of its own triviality -- a sentiment that I can guarantee that not ONE of the faux moralists creaming in their shorts over the astronaut scandal will voice in the coming year: the coming year of this crap that the astronaut chick has now doomed us to.
That's why I am really, really, really mad at Lisa Marie Nowak.
This is all her fault.