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Vol 1 No. 4                       November 25, 2004 

Thanksgiving Issue

What’s For Dinner?
by Hart Williams

According to Mr. H.G. Wells, the true postmodernists can be found in 802,701 A.D. Existing in a world freed from want, the Eloi live without conflict, disease, discomfort or pain, with everything they need to exist provided them. Wells’ THE TIME MACHINE creates a future world split between two races, the childlike Eloi and the creatures of the darkness, the underground-dwelling, ape-like, albino, machine-savvy, light-averse Morlocks.

The Eloi, the Time Traveler learns, were once the princes of Earth, the aristoi, but without challenges, their powers of reason have atrophied. They are simply childlike, ineffectual, helpless and nearly emotionless. The Morlocks, on the other hand, were the servants, dwelling in darkness, tending the machinery. But things changed. Without broccoli, or other vegetables, the Morlocks became utterly carnivorous, and, turning to the simplest food supply, took the Eloi as their domesticated cattle.

Sadly, Mr. Wells was slightly off in his calculations, by approximately 800,701 years. Today, we call the Morlocks “Republicans” and the Eloi are similarly denoted “Democrats.” But on most other scores, Mr. Wells was entirely on beam: After generations of rule, utterly controlling the national debate, the Eloi’s Prime Directive, “Thou Shalt Not Offend,” became “P.C.” while the Morlocks, living deep underground, plotted their ultimate takeover, as their rhetoric turned increasingly savage and filled with irrational hate.

Some say that the Morlocks turned away from reason to instinct, as did Mr. Wells’ creations, vaguely recalling their last triumphant control of the government, in the Eisenhower Administration, when their entire raison d’etre was the hatred of “Communists,” “Reds” and “Pinkos.” The depths of this irrationality can, perhaps, be seen in their gleeful embrace of the concept of “Red States” -- which would have seemed anathema to their forebears.

But, then again, the Morlocks are fueled by even older, half-understood hatreds and irrational grudges. The entire Republican leadership of the House, Senate and White House are from the Old South, the loser in the long-forgotten Civil War, excepting the Morlock Hastert, who comes from Illinois, that state that license plates itself “The Land of Lincoln.”

But, in this case, the Morlock credo is “With malice towards all, and charity for none.” Like their fictional counterparts, the new Morlocks feed on the ineffectual Eloi -- whose powers of reason seem to have withered entirely, after generations in unquestioned power, just as their ability to counter or contend with the Morlocks seems a mere memory of another stage in their devolution.

But we don’t need to merely view Washington D.C. to find the Eloi and the Morlocks engaged in their symbiotic dance of prey and predator. We have them right here in Oregon.

Case in point: The new progressive talk radio station in Eugene, KOPT (“Oregon’s Progressive Talk). Carrying “Air America” -- that new radio network just barely reaching critical mass with perhaps 36 stations nationally -- KOPT broadcasts at 1450 AM from a new media company called “Churchill Media.”

According to the REGISTER-GUARD: “Churchill is a limited liability company owned by Suzanne Arlie. She and her husband, John Musumeci, run Eugene-based development firm Arlie & Co.” The R-G adds, in a sort of Eloi snit: “Musumeci is one of the area's best-known conservative businessmen.”

John Musumeci is most noted as a founder of the infamous “Gang of 9” that opposed the insane local Eloi actions of the City Council in driving the new PeaceHealth hospital out of Eugene in the year 2001. The Eloi newspaper here, The WEEKLY, wrote: “This conservative group, which formed in 2001, published political cartoons that excoriated progressive councilors. Who can forget the ... cartoon portraying city councilors as pirates attacking boats labeled "jobs" and "corporations"? ... The authors of these cartoons weren't great wordsmiths, and their caricatures were pretty sophomoric, but the Gang of 9 achieved great success. The Gang helped to elect a more conservative council in 2002, including one of the Gang's own members ....”

Actually, the author of the cartoons was a professional political cartoonist, with nothing “sophomoric” about his paid hatchet-work. The “Gang of 9” was pretty effective, but an Eloi wouldn’t see it that way. The main Eloi objection to the Gang was that they were anonymous -- until the screams of the Eloi finally outed them or caused them to be outed, or whatever. (Eloi reasoning is, of necessity, difficult to follow, since it tends to be fundamentally oxymoronic.)

John Musumeci is married to the owner of the radio station, although his voice never appears on it. This, by Eloi reasoning (an oxymoron, one notes) taints the 24/7 exposition of Eloi thought, philosophy and what passes these days for progressive thought. They are TRYING to actually stand up to the endless Morlock rants of “Heroin” Rush Limbaugh, Sean “Heil” Hannity, Bill “Oh Really?” O’Reilly, and the various Morlocks screaming passages from “Ayn Kampf” over the radio eighteen hours a day in Eloi Eugene.

But, you see, Musumeci MIGHT well be a Morlock, and, therefore, everything (according to Eloi reasoning) that runs on KOPT 1450 AM would be, of course, TAINTED by some strange Morlock juice.

And so a whispering campaign has spread, urging Eloi businesses to shun our local Air America outlet. Even though Air America has been the only media outlet consistently pointing out the Morlock hijacking of the Presidential election, and almost single-handedly raised the $110,000 needed for a recount in Ohio, I received the following from a member of my mailing list: “Did you ever think that you would be promoting a business of Musemici (sic)???”

The perceptive reader will note the the presumption being that the mere invocation of Musumeci’s (misspelled) name would be sufficient to remind me that Air America is unworthy of any support.

Without characterizing Mr. Musumeci’s politics (or, in fact, having made the logical leap that his wife, Ms. Arlie, has no mind of her own, and is OBVIOUSLY a front for Musumeci’s agenda), one can only ask WHY a Morlock would provide the Eloi of Eugene with a voice they’ve been sorely lacking. Hmmm.


Hart Williams is clearly out of his tiny little mind.