The Commonwealth of Blogistan

Formerly known as "The People's Republic of Blogistan," we are under "New Management," so to speak. (cough). The "Real Westerners" pledge a democratic and clean government based on the virtues of honesty, decency, and hard work. We accept all major credit cards but are sometimes closed on weekends. No vaccinations are required, but a current passport and a visa are necessary. Inquire before traveling.

My Photo
Name: Ed Waldo
Location: of The West

I am a fictional construct originally conceived as a pen name for articles in the Los Angeles FREE PRESS at the 2000 Democratic Convention. The plume relating to the nom in question rests in the left hand of Hart Williams, about whom, the less said, the better. Officially "SMEARED" by the Howie Rich Gang. And now, smeared by Fox News and Sean Hannity, as well! Plus, FEARED by Ted Nugent! AND Hated by the Freepers!

06 October 2007

Torture? What Torture? We Don't See No Torture!

On Friday, Resident Bush made the following statement clarifying the illegal torture, secret prisons and other violations of the Geneva Conventions, civilization and the fundamental Rights of Man:

From the (now incredibly) White House:

For Immediate Release
Office of the Press Secretary
October 5, 2007

Bush Discusses the Economy and Protecting Americans From Terrorism
The Oval Office

9:54 A.M. EDT

... And so I'm real pleased. I thank you all for coming in to bring this good news to me. It's -- this good news is a real tribute to the hardworking Americans, the people out there working hard to put food on the table. And it's a tribute to the entrepreneurial spirit of the country.

I want to say something else. There's been a lot of talk in the newspapers and on TV about a program that I put in motion to detain and question terrorists and extremists. I have put this program in place for a reason, and that is to better protect the American people. And when we find somebody who may have information regarding an -- a potential attack on America, you bet we're going to detain them, and you bet we're going to question them -- because the American people expect us to find out information -- actionable intelligence so we can help protect them. That's our job.

Secondly, this government does not torture people. You know, we stick to U.S. law and our international obligations.

Thirdly, there are highly trained professionals questioning these extremists and terrorists. In other words, we got professionals who are trained in this kind of work to get information that will protect the American people. And by the way, we have gotten information from these high-value detainees that have helped protect you.

And finally, the techniques that we use have been fully disclosed to appropriate members of the United States Congress. The American people expect their government to take action to protect them from further attack. And that's exactly what this government is doing, and that's exactly what we'll continue to do.

Thank you very much.

END 10:00 A.M. EDT

There. Glad that's all cleared up.


05 October 2007

The Money Changers have Fled from their High Seats in the Temple


I am reminded of a famous American speech:
I am certain that my fellow Americans expect that on my induction into the Presidency I will address them with a candor and a decision which the present situation of our people impel. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper.

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days.

In such a spirit on my part and on yours we face our common difficulties. They concern, thank God, only material things. Values have shrunken to fantastic levels; taxes have risen; our ability to pay has fallen; government of all kinds is faced by serious curtailment of income; the means of exchange are frozen in the currents of trade; the withered leaves of industrial enterprise lie on every side; farmers find no markets for their produce; the savings of many years in thousands of families are gone.

More important, a host of unemployed citizens face the grim problem of existence, and an equally great number toil with little return. Only a foolish optimist can deny the dark realities of the moment.

Yet our distress comes from no failure of substance. We are stricken by no plague of locusts. Compared with the perils which our forefathers conquered because they believed and were not afraid, we have still much to be thankful for. Nature still offers her bounty and human efforts have multiplied it. Plenty is at our doorstep, but a generous use of it languishes in the very sight of the supply. Primarily this is because the rulers of the exchange of mankind’s goods have failed, through their own stubbornness and their own incompetence, have admitted their failure, and abdicated. Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts and minds of men.

True they have tried, but their efforts have been cast in the pattern of an outworn tradition. Faced by failure of credit they have proposed only the lending of more money. Stripped of the lure of profit by which to induce our people to follow their false leadership, they have resorted to exhortations, pleading tearfully for restored confidence. They know only the rules of a generation of self-seekers. They have no vision, and when there is no vision the people perish.

The money changers have fled from their high seats in the temple of our civilization. We may now restore that temple to the ancient truths. The measure of the restoration lies in the extent to which we apply social values more noble than mere monetary profit [MORE]
The more things change, the more they stay the same.


03 October 2007

Daily Show Bitch-Slaps Tweety

The Daily Show, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Comedy Central, a wholly-owned subsidiary of MTV Networks, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Viacom, Inc., was the source of today's the "Public Eye" blog on the CBS website, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Viacom, Inc.

I reproduce the transcript from the "Public Eye" site, even though I'm not with Paramount Pictures, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Viacom, Inc., or Dreamworks, also a Viacom subsidiary, or even CBS Records, CBS Radio or Simon & Schuster, er, ditto. Actually, it's a little complicated. Let's let Wikipedia sort of sort it out:

Viacom (NYSE: VIA) (NYSE: VIAb) is an American media conglomerate with various worldwide interests in cable and satellite television networks (MTV Networks and BET), and movie production and distribution (the Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks movie studios). Sumner Redstone is the Chairman and, through National Amusements, the majority shareholder.

The new Viacom is considered to be the "high-growth" side of the much larger former Viacom. The former Viacom was renamed CBS Corporation, from which this firm was split off on December 31, 2005. CBS, not Viacom, retains control of the over-the-air broadcasting, TV production, and publishing assets formerly owned by the larger company. However, National Amusements remains the common majority shareholder of both firms.

Well, since it's Nationally Amusing, I'll post it anyway. "Tweety" refers to the Leftist blogosphere's nickname for Chris Matthews, the creepy host of MSNBC's "Hardball" -- that show where Matthews doesn't let people finish answering his aggressive and ofttimes extremely rude questions.

Heres the transcript (although it doesn't really do justice to the Joe McCarthy/Joseph Welch nature of the confrontation). Have you at long last no decency, Mr. Matthews?

From CBS' "Public Eye":

October 3, 2007, 4:05 PM
"This Is The Worst"
Posted by Matthew Felling


His guest was MSNBC’s “Hardball” host Chris Matthews, who was on to plug his new book “Life is a Campaign.”


[Video can be found at DC Fishbowl and Crooks and Liars.]

Jon Stewart: Life’s a Campaign. Now if I read this correctly, and I believe I read this book correctly, what you are saying is: People can use what politicians do in political campaigns to help their lives.

Chris Matthews: Yeah. It’s irony isn’t it?

Jon Stewart: It strikes me as fundamentally wrong. It strikes me as a self-hurt book, if you will. Aren’t campaigns, fundamentally, contrivances?

Chris Matthews: Yeah, campaigns can be. But politicians, the way they get to the top, is the real thing. They know what they’re doing. You don’t have to believe a word they say, but you have to watch how far they got. How did [Bill] Clinton get there? How did Hillary get there? How did all these guys get there? Reagan. They have methods to get to the top.

Jon Stewart: So you’re suggesting that even if noone believes a word you say, you can be successful.

Chris Matthews: Yes.

Jon Stewart: Now that seems to me to be a book about sadness. Is it not?

Chris Matthews: No.

Jon Stewart: How? In what world?

Chris Matthews: Can I give you one example of the truth here? Bill Clinton, when he was in college, would get women, girls, in bed…

Jon Stewart: Not just in college.

Chris Matthews: … by listening. He listened to them. When friends of his couldn’t get the girls, he’d tell them ‘you gotta listen to them.’ I thought, growing up, that you drank beer and you bragged. But he says, you have to listen to them – it’s flattering. And it works.

Jon Stewart: It works if you care what they’re saying. But politicians often listen, but it’s a contrivance.

Chris Matthews: It’s not a contrivance. I’m listening to you.

Jon Stewart: No, you’re not.

Chris Matthews: How can I not? You’re trashing my book!

Jon Stewart: You don’t listen to anybody! I’m not trashing your book; I’m trashing your philosophy of life. Your book is an excellent recipe –

Chris Matthews: Do you want to succeed?

Jon Stewart: I’ve succeeded!

Chris Matthews: Do you want to have friends?

Jon Stewart: I have friends! I want real friends! Wait a minute. If you treat life like a campaign, at the end of your life do you give a concession speech?

Chris Matthews: No.

Jon Stewart: Well, then, it’s not a campaign.

Chris Matthews: It is a campaign. Everything about getting jobs, it’s about convincing someone to hire you. It’s about getting promotions. It’s about selling products. It’s always a campaign. It’s a campaign to get the girl of your dreams. It’s a campaign to do everything you want to do in life.

Jon Stewart: But there has to be some core of soul in there …

Chris Matthews: I’m not denying that. You’re a hard sell. Watch the Clintons. Watch how successful they are. Watch what they do. They do listen to people. Hillary Clinton went on a listening tour of the state of New York and won a Senate seat.

Jon Stewart: Labelling something a ‘listening tour’ doesn’t mean you’re listening. That’s what I’m saying. President Bush had a sign that said “Mission: Accomplished.” That doesn’t make it accomplished.

Chris Matthews: He wasn’t listening.

Jon Stewart: What campaigns are, are photo opportunities that are staged. And there’s nothing in this book about ‘Be Good. Be Competent.’

Chris Matthews: That’s the Bible. It’s been written.

Jon Stewart: This book has been written, too! It was called “The Prince.”

Chris Matthews: This book is better. Did you read it? What’d you think?

Jon Stewart: Yes, I read it. I thought it was a recipe for sadness. Only because when I read it I thought ‘This strikes me as artifice. If you live this book, your life will be strategy.’ This strikes me as saying success is finite.

Chris Matthews: No no. Because there’s a lot of good stories in it. To get ahead in life, people are good listeners, they’re optimistic people, they’re very good at asking for help because they don’t try to do it alone. And everytime the ask for help, they get more people invested in them.

Jon Stewart: On the campaign trail, that makes common sense. Listening to people, caring about people. But in this book, there’s stuff about “Attack Someone Where You Know Noone’s Going To Attack Them.”

Chris Matthews: I didn’t say that.

Jon Stewart: You tell the story about the guy in the campaign who attacked the other guy in the campaign on health care. And they asked him why he did that, and he said ‘cuz nobody else is attacking him on health care.’

Chris Matthews: No. He said he supported national health care because he knew his opponent wouldn’t do it because it looked like socialized medicine. He did what he thought was right. But that’s where he decided to strike, because he knew his opponent wouldn’t go with him.

Jon Stewart: That’s what I’m saying. Sometimes when you read the book, it seems like you’re saying ‘Do what you think will win,” not “Do what you think is right.”

Chris Matthews: Well, it’s both.

Jon Stewart: Well, this seems to emphasize the former.

Chris Matthews: It does! Can you come on ‘Hardball?’ We can play this both ways.

Jon Stewart: I don’t troll.

Chris Matthews: You are unbelievable. This is the book interview from hell. This is the worst interview I’ve ever had in my life. This is the worst. You are the worst. I thought you were so big, you weren’t afraid of me.

Jon Stewart: I’m not.

Chris Matthews: This book scares you. There’s something in this book you fear.

Jon Stewart: There is something in that book I fear. Like fascism. All I’m saying is this: I love what you do.

Chris Matthews: Can I tell a story?

Jon Stewart: You can. It’ll be edited out.

Chris Matthews: Okay. This is a book about good values, it’s a – it’s hopeless with you! You’re Zell Miller!

Jon Stewart: No. No duels for me. I appreciate it that you tried to …. I’ll come on your show and you can yell at me.

[end transcript]


Anyone know where this comes from?

Filtered through various media styles. (I have written the headline BEFORE looking at the actual story, linked, if present).

  • New York Post Style ( but not ideology):

    Bush to Poor Kids: Drop Dead

  • New York Times Style:

    Juvenile Health Measure Stymied

  • CounterPunch Style:

    How Big Pharma and Big Tobacco Collaborated to Kill Children's Health Care

  • Weekly Standard Style:

    Defeatocrat Tots Turned Back by Our Brave War President


The veto originated with the Roman consuls and tribunes. Either of the two consuls holding office in a given year could block a military or civil decision by the other; any tribune had the power to unilaterally refuse legislation passed by the Roman Senate.

No word on plans to make Bush's horse a Senator.


30 September 2007

Welcome (Transcript)

[Begin Transcript]

NOTE: The Following is a transcript of the first official statement of the new government of Blogistan (formerly known as "The People's Republic of Blogistan," now called "The Commonwealth of Blogistan") by the newly appointed Minister of Information, Guadelupe "Chuckles" Hidalgo, the former owner of the Hidalgo Trading Company, before its expropriation. The international press is currently confined to the former Presidential Palace, and sporadic street fighting can still be heard throughout the capital city. However, the government is now firmly in the hands of the 'Real, Actual Westerners,' led by the shadowy figure sometimes referred to as "Subcommandante Williams," "the glorious leader," "El Commandante," or just, "that schmuck."

MR. HIDALGO: We still have to clean the bloodstains from the walls, and don't mind those burn marks, the decorator is coming next week. We'd like you to step into the recently ... um, er, the UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT offices formerly belonging to "el Presidente," who, alas, could not be here to witness the rebirth of democratic principles and clean government.

"El Presidente" has pressing business ... elsewhere, as you gentlemen and ladies of the international press can probably imagine. Our Glorious Leader, Hart Williams, will be here shortly to hold a press conference, but in the meantime, we invite you to have a seat -- please brush them off first, we don't want any glass shards ruining your day, and our medical staff is probably too busy right now to treat you, so DO be careful.

Courtesy of the ... wait.

[Gunfire is heard: a volley and then sporadic firing and whoops of celebration]

Courtesy of the late El Presidente, please have some of this excellent champagne, beluga caviar, and truffles. We have plenty, and it's all perishable, so please eat up.

El Commandante Williams will be with you shortly.

Long Live The Commonwealth of Blogistan!
[end transcript]